I worked on my flower bed today - planted 24 tiger lilies (my favorite). I've never considered myself much of a gardener, having been known to kill the kind of plants that are supposed to be hard to kill, including bamboo and cactus. Yes, I once killed a cactus. That takes skill. But I will say, I really enjoyed planting my flowers today and found it to be rather therapeutic. I had no time limit. I wasn't in a hurry. I took my time with each individual little hole that I dug, with a little music playing in the background to keep me company. It wasn't a task. It wasn't a chore. It was one of the more enjoyable things I've done lately. And seeing the plants all in a row when I was done brought me a sense of accomplishment and satisfaction.
Add to it the benefit of Spring saying to me, "I have arrived". And that is a most welcome thought. I utterly hate winter. I sincerely despise it. I don't know that it's so much "seasonal depression" that I suffer from, as much as it is "winter sucks and there's really no good reason to leave my warm house when it's freezing and miserable outside". Either way, I for one, am glad to say goodbye for another season.
Now is the time to celebrate warm nights, lightning bugs and porch beers, soon to be followed by weekends boating on the lake, beach trips and long days of sunshine. And those days are my favorite days. So here's to Spring and Summer; new beginnings and sunny days ahead.
I think I will play in my flower bed more often.
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Friday, March 28, 2014
Thursday, March 27, 2014
Peace, Love & Happiness Tour: Part 1
On my morning drive to work, I caught a recap of a speech, the actress, Ellen Page, gave at a recent event for LGBT teens in Vegas. I didn't hear the entire speech, but what caught my attention, was the following quote from her speech:
"And I’m inspired to be in this room because every single one of you is here for the same reason: you’re here because you’ve adopted, as a core motivation, the simple fact that this world would be a whole lot better if we just made an effort to be less horrible to one another."
Let me repeat that last part in case you missed it - this world would be a whole lot better if we just made an effort to be less horrible to one another.
Such simplicity that it would seem to be common sense. And yet, it's not. Day after day, decade after decade, we find someone to hate.
What is sad to me, is that throughout history, and continually today, people everywhere are having to fight for equality. I applaud the men and women who stand up to oppression and protest for justice. I only wish there was no need for it. Why can't we all just get along? Is that hard to just love thy neighbor? Is it so difficult a concept to grasp, that the majority of people, regardless of race, religion, sex, ethnicity, sexual orientation, or social class just want to live a good, decent life filled with love and happiness? They want to earn an income and be appreciated for their hard work. They want to provide for their families. They want to fall in love. They want the same chance at success as anyone else. Nobody got to pick their lot in life. All they can do is play the hand that was dealt to them.
Stop being horrible to each other.
Sunday, March 23, 2014
Back At It
It's been a minute since my last post. I apologize. It's been a rough couple of months, in more than one way. For those that are close to me, you know what's been up. For everyone else, let's just say it's been a helluva ride. And some days, it got the best of me. It's hard to write objectively when your mind is so wrapped up in another aspects of your life. So I'm feeling a little rusty tonight, but I know if I don't just make myself get back to it, I never will.
But the truth is, the last few months haven't been as hard as they could have been. The biggest contributor to that has been my family and friends. I know I've probably said it a million times before, but I really do have the best support system around - great people that love me and believe in me. And when times get tough, they are the ones that pull me up and give me strength. I honestly have no idea how I could make it without them.
The last few months have been trying. My faith has been absolutely tested. I won't lie. Some days were hard, really hard. And then some days were okay. But that's the way it goes. See, there is no such thing as a happy ending, because the truth is, until you die, it doesn't end. It just keeps going, up and down, back and forth, and all you can do is try to fully enjoy every single blessed, joyous moment and know that there will be dark days, but they too shall pass. That is the roller coaster ride we are on. Hang on, close your eyes, feel the excitement and rush of it all, with faith that you'll make it out okay. Wake up every single day knowing you have been given another shot at life.
Several months ago, I found myself in a new place, and felt it was "meant to be" or "divine intervention" if you will. And then, Bam!, the rug was pulled out from under me and suddenly I questioned it all. But then I remembered something. If I thought it was God's will that led me here, then, in fact, it is also meant to be for me to suffer through this. Maybe the lesson was humility. Maybe it was patience. Or maybe it was faith. Or maybe there is no such thing as God and we are all just free floating around in random chance, but whatever the reason, I have found a newfound appreciation for the simple pleasures in life and have counted my blessings more in the last couple of months than in many years before. I have realized my troubles are few in comparison to the vast majority, and I have a newly restored sense of being, and knowing that I can and will survive, regardless of the curve balls thrown my way.
"Adversity is like a strong wind. It tears away from us all but the things that cannot be torn, so that we see ourselves as we really are."
~Arthur Golden
But the truth is, the last few months haven't been as hard as they could have been. The biggest contributor to that has been my family and friends. I know I've probably said it a million times before, but I really do have the best support system around - great people that love me and believe in me. And when times get tough, they are the ones that pull me up and give me strength. I honestly have no idea how I could make it without them.
The last few months have been trying. My faith has been absolutely tested. I won't lie. Some days were hard, really hard. And then some days were okay. But that's the way it goes. See, there is no such thing as a happy ending, because the truth is, until you die, it doesn't end. It just keeps going, up and down, back and forth, and all you can do is try to fully enjoy every single blessed, joyous moment and know that there will be dark days, but they too shall pass. That is the roller coaster ride we are on. Hang on, close your eyes, feel the excitement and rush of it all, with faith that you'll make it out okay. Wake up every single day knowing you have been given another shot at life.
Several months ago, I found myself in a new place, and felt it was "meant to be" or "divine intervention" if you will. And then, Bam!, the rug was pulled out from under me and suddenly I questioned it all. But then I remembered something. If I thought it was God's will that led me here, then, in fact, it is also meant to be for me to suffer through this. Maybe the lesson was humility. Maybe it was patience. Or maybe it was faith. Or maybe there is no such thing as God and we are all just free floating around in random chance, but whatever the reason, I have found a newfound appreciation for the simple pleasures in life and have counted my blessings more in the last couple of months than in many years before. I have realized my troubles are few in comparison to the vast majority, and I have a newly restored sense of being, and knowing that I can and will survive, regardless of the curve balls thrown my way.
"Adversity is like a strong wind. It tears away from us all but the things that cannot be torn, so that we see ourselves as we really are."
~Arthur Golden
Thursday, February 13, 2014
Love, Sweet Love
My Valentine's Day Tribute to Love:
First, some videos.
Jackie DeShannon "What the World Needs Now, Is Love, Sweet Love"
Tom T. Hall "I Love"
And the master of Love, Mr. Barry White "Can't Get Enough of Your Love"
And a random assortment of Valentine related images I found.
You know who you are.
If you need a pick-up line, try this one.
For anyone sad because you don't have a date.
True Love.
Happy Valentine's Day to ALL my Bitches out there! Love you, crazy people!!!!
The Great Car Run
Have you ever tried to push a 4,000-ish lb. Ford LTD up a hill? I have. I was probably fourteen at the time and weighed all of 90 lbs. soaking wet. But I had help. My even slightly smaller friend, *Marie, was with me at the time.
Mom was out of town and Dad was at work. Marie and I were at my parent's house, bored. There sat the LTD. It was a late 70's/early 80's model. My parent's had driven it in years past, but hadn't driven in at least a few years. It just sat there, parked, waiting for an adventure. So we decided to take her out for a test drive.
After some groaning, the engine finally roared to life. For those of you who remember, these cars were not the tiny, compact plastic cars we drive today. No, this was a tank with wheels. Anyway, off we go. We started by heading up the driveway and then down to my aunt and uncle's house down the road. So far, so good.
Headed back, we start making the climb up the long hill back toward my parent's house. Engine stalls. Car goes dead. I throw it in park, and try to turn the key a few more times. No luck. Well, okay, then. When the car dies, what do you do? You push it.
We devise a plan. Marie will stand at the driver's side door, with her hand on the wheel to steer it. I will get in the back and push. It made sense at the time. I had seen it done a couple of times. I get in ready to push position, with hands on the back bumper and legs braced. I yell to Marie, "put it in neutral". Um, Houston, we have a problem. I barely managed to clear being crushed to death by jumping into a nearby ditch as the behemoth started rolling backward rather impressively fast. Marie was only dragged down the hill for a short while, before giving up and letting go, also somehow managing not to be run over.
There she goes. Rolling in the wrong direction, back down the hill, ending up in a ditch at approximately a 70 degree angle. Thanks to a few friends, (and their Dads), we managed to get the car pulled out of the ditch, with the only real damage being that we ripped the front bumper halfway off in the process. One of the guys hammered the bumper back to it's original-looking shape. Car was parked in the exact place it had been. No one was ever the wiser.
Several months later, my uncle bought the car, for parts I assume. He shows up, they attach a chain or some device to the bumper to hoist it up to be hauled off. Imagine their surprise when the bumper immediately flies off the car.
"Jennifer, any idea why the bumper just fell off the car?"
"No, Mother, I have no clue." "Geez."
Mom was out of town and Dad was at work. Marie and I were at my parent's house, bored. There sat the LTD. It was a late 70's/early 80's model. My parent's had driven it in years past, but hadn't driven in at least a few years. It just sat there, parked, waiting for an adventure. So we decided to take her out for a test drive.
After some groaning, the engine finally roared to life. For those of you who remember, these cars were not the tiny, compact plastic cars we drive today. No, this was a tank with wheels. Anyway, off we go. We started by heading up the driveway and then down to my aunt and uncle's house down the road. So far, so good.
Headed back, we start making the climb up the long hill back toward my parent's house. Engine stalls. Car goes dead. I throw it in park, and try to turn the key a few more times. No luck. Well, okay, then. When the car dies, what do you do? You push it.
We devise a plan. Marie will stand at the driver's side door, with her hand on the wheel to steer it. I will get in the back and push. It made sense at the time. I had seen it done a couple of times. I get in ready to push position, with hands on the back bumper and legs braced. I yell to Marie, "put it in neutral". Um, Houston, we have a problem. I barely managed to clear being crushed to death by jumping into a nearby ditch as the behemoth started rolling backward rather impressively fast. Marie was only dragged down the hill for a short while, before giving up and letting go, also somehow managing not to be run over.
There she goes. Rolling in the wrong direction, back down the hill, ending up in a ditch at approximately a 70 degree angle. Thanks to a few friends, (and their Dads), we managed to get the car pulled out of the ditch, with the only real damage being that we ripped the front bumper halfway off in the process. One of the guys hammered the bumper back to it's original-looking shape. Car was parked in the exact place it had been. No one was ever the wiser.
Several months later, my uncle bought the car, for parts I assume. He shows up, they attach a chain or some device to the bumper to hoist it up to be hauled off. Imagine their surprise when the bumper immediately flies off the car.
"Jennifer, any idea why the bumper just fell off the car?"
"No, Mother, I have no clue." "Geez."
Wednesday, February 12, 2014
Time for a Cool Change
Whoever said people don't change, obviously didn't meet very many people. People change all the time. I think what they meant to say was that people don't change just because you want them to. That part seems to have been lost in translation. People change because they get older, wiser, and more experienced. People change because they see an attribute within themselves they are no longer satisfied with and decide to do something about it. People change because life deals them an unexpected hand that they must now face. Or they change because they have learned from past mistakes what works and what doesn't. But they do not, and will not change because they don't fit into some ideal image you yourself have created for them. And they never will. So stop expecting it.
A lot of relationships fail for this reason. Romantic, platonic, and familial relationships fail because of some unrealistic expectation of how we think someone should behave, and when they don't fit into the mold we have created for them, we feel let down.
Look, it's really this simple. You have two choices in any relationship. Either accept it for what it is, and that means accepting them exactly as they are at that time in their lives, or move on. If your boyfriend doesn't bring you flowers, and you want one that does, then find yourself the romantic type. There are plenty of flower-bearing men in this world. If your girlfriend doesn't enjoy World of Warcraft, and you can't live without a gaming partner, then find someone who shares your passion for video games. If you can no longer stand another minute listening to your bff's never ending drama, stop answering the phone. If you are unhappy with your relationship with someone, then get out of it. Otherwise, shut the hell up about it.
A lot of relationships fail for this reason. Romantic, platonic, and familial relationships fail because of some unrealistic expectation of how we think someone should behave, and when they don't fit into the mold we have created for them, we feel let down.
Look, it's really this simple. You have two choices in any relationship. Either accept it for what it is, and that means accepting them exactly as they are at that time in their lives, or move on. If your boyfriend doesn't bring you flowers, and you want one that does, then find yourself the romantic type. There are plenty of flower-bearing men in this world. If your girlfriend doesn't enjoy World of Warcraft, and you can't live without a gaming partner, then find someone who shares your passion for video games. If you can no longer stand another minute listening to your bff's never ending drama, stop answering the phone. If you are unhappy with your relationship with someone, then get out of it. Otherwise, shut the hell up about it.
Wednesday, February 5, 2014
Miranda
I could never tell my story without including my friends. Names have been changed for all the typical reasons, innocence or guilt notwithstanding . This is *Miranda's story.
What you should know about Miranda: She has one of the best laughs I've ever heard on a human being, the contagious kind. And she literally gets a sparkle in her eyes when she's truly happy, an honest-to-God, twinkle. Her smile is her best feature. Her boobs are pretty awesome too, but I'm still going with the smile. I'm not a guy, so I can.
She is the Claree to my Ouiser. She is my, hopefully, one day, we will be those two old Southern women sitting on the front porch drinking sweet tea spiked with Jack Daniels, friend. She is also one of my best champions. She is my strength and courage, when I have none. When I doubt myself, she kicks my ass in gear. She probably knows as much, if not more, about my love life and relationships than the men who have actually been involved in them.
My best Miranda story? There's so many. Nothing, however, could top the epic and legendary story of her 29th birthday:
Two things you need to know before I proceed.
1. Miranda loves Jack Daniels. It is her drink of choice. And she is no lightweight, on the rocks with a lime, please.
What you should know about Miranda: She has one of the best laughs I've ever heard on a human being, the contagious kind. And she literally gets a sparkle in her eyes when she's truly happy, an honest-to-God, twinkle. Her smile is her best feature. Her boobs are pretty awesome too, but I'm still going with the smile. I'm not a guy, so I can.
She is the Claree to my Ouiser. She is my, hopefully, one day, we will be those two old Southern women sitting on the front porch drinking sweet tea spiked with Jack Daniels, friend. She is also one of my best champions. She is my strength and courage, when I have none. When I doubt myself, she kicks my ass in gear. She probably knows as much, if not more, about my love life and relationships than the men who have actually been involved in them.
My best Miranda story? There's so many. Nothing, however, could top the epic and legendary story of her 29th birthday:
Two things you need to know before I proceed.
1. Miranda loves Jack Daniels. It is her drink of choice. And she is no lightweight, on the rocks with a lime, please.
2. A few months prior to this event I performed my version of the Tawny Kitaen stripper crawl at a girls' only night at a friend's house, much to the amusement of my girlfriends, and that crawl became, well, somewhat legendary in its own right.
So let's begin.
We started the birthday night having dinner, and Miranda had a few JD drinks to celebrate. Now, in no way, am I blaming what happened later on the whiskey. But, I will say, where whiskey is concerned, it does make a pretty good scapegoat. After dinner, we decided to take the party to a nearby club, where they had a band playing and we could enjoy some dancing. Naturally, someone alerted the band it was Miranda's birthday. So they call Miranda to the center of the dance floor and she is instructed to sit in a bar chair while her friends "dance" for her. A friend of ours pushes me out into the dance floor and says "Do your stripper crawl!". Now, under normal circumstances I would not be caught dead doing a stripper crawl, on a dance floor, in a club, in public. But, it was Miranda's birthday, several birthday shots had been consumed, and I was basically being double dog dared. So, off I crawled. And crawl I did, all the way to Miranda's chair where I stood up in front of her; we hug each other, laugh, I wish her a happy birthday, and, well, this is where things went downhill. What happened next is subject to debate and depends on who you ask. All that is certain, is the next thing I know, I am lying flat on my back on the dance floor and Miranda is face down on top of me. I get up, shrug it off, and go about finding my drink. Miranda heads to the ladies' room. She exits the bathroom, walking toward our table with her hand over her mouth, shaking her head. Naturally, we assumed she must have bitten her lip in the crash, but she refuses to show us the damage. We persist, out of genuine concern and morbid curiosity. Miranda slowly pulls her hand away and smiles. HOLYSHITBALLSBATMAN, Miranda's two front teeth have been knocked out!!! I mean, gone. For real. I can not in any effective way, explain to you the complex emotion of the complete shock and horror I felt while simultaneously laughing harder than I may ever have before or since. But let me try to explain, that on the one hand there are few times that I have ever felt worse for a friend of mine but at the same time I have rarely seen anything as hilarious as my best friend smiling at me with no front teeth - on her birthday! To make matters worse, it wasn't a clean break, so there were in fact, two tiny slivers on both the outside edges that gave the appearance of small vampire fangs. I tried hard to get a photograph, but she refused to smile for the camera. And right now, I bet you wish I had that photo to share. I know I certainly do.
Bless her heart, she was trying hard not to cry and all we could do was tell her how sorry we were while simultaneously wiping away our own tears of laughter. We bought her shots as condolences and sang a boisterous rendition of "All I Want For Christmas" all the way home that night.
Thanks to the miracle of dental procedures, her teeth were soon thereafter restored, using whatever technology allows dentists to provide fake teeth, and none who ever see her would ever be the wiser. As I said before, her smile was and still is one of her best features. It is also the source of one of my very best memories of her, and certainly one of the funniest. If I live to be a hundred and am completely senile, I don't think I will forget that night or the image of my toothless friend. It, like so many other great stories is one of both tragedy and comedy.
As Truvy Jones said, "Laughter through tears is my favorite emotion."
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