Don't Worry

To the inhuman human that left your dog to fend for itself, don't worry, I took him in. I didn't want to, as I have responsibilities too, and really didn't want the extra burden. But I did anyway. I know it won't matter to you that he/she now has food to eat and a warm bed to lay on, but he does. Because, let's be honest, if it mattered to you in the first place, you wouldn't have abandoned him on the side of the road, or left him behind when you moved. I'm sure you are sleeping soundly without any thoughts of the animal you left to die. But don't worry, I cared. I cared enough that I bathed him and gave him medicine to provide relief for his poor body from the fleas, ticks, and worms that plagued him.

Was he that much a bother for you? Did he get into the trash? Did he pee on the floor? Did he chew your favorite shoes? Would it have taken so much of your precious time to train him? Could you not possibly spare a few minutes every day to teach him manners? He wanted to please you, he wanted to learn, but you didn't have the time. But don't worry, I'm trying to find the time to fix your problem.

He loved you. He worshipped you. He would have fought for you. He would have given his life to protect you. And how did you return such unconditional love? You discarded him. You left him to die. Alone and scared, he would have eventually starved to death, given over to sickness and disease, or been hauled off to the pound to face his fate, wondering where his master is. But don't worry, he has a new home now.

Now he has a new master. Now he loves me. Now he fights to defend me. And if fate ever has our paths cross, don't worry, I'm sure he will forgive you. But I won't.

Things could always be worse. Or not.

One of my biggest pet peeves is to be standing in line somewhere, perhaps a gas station, looking at nothing in particular, mind wandering aimlessly, only to hear this, "Smile. Things could always be worse." I look up and sure enough some man is staring at me, expecting some kind of response. I said a man, because in every instance I can recall, a woman has never, ever, said this to me. It's always been a man. Chalk that up to another checked box in the 'women have more sense category'.

Now, I don't like to think of myself as someone who walks around with a scowl, and if you greet me with a "Hello" or "How are you?" in the checkout line, I will most likely smile and respond with a similar greeting. This particular interaction, however, is not going to illicit a pleasant response from me or a cheerful grin. Most days I bite my tongue, while contorting my face into the most disgusted look I can conjure at the moment, and try to shoot death rays from my eyes. But catch me at an inopportune time, and I may tell you where you can stick that smile you're looking for.

First of all, like I said, this is almost always said at some random moment whilst I'm staring off into space and standing in line somewhere. Who just stands around smiling for no reason? Unless, I'm having a funny internal thought, I don't just walk around smiling to myself. I'm even gonna go out on a limb and say most people in the world don't do this either, unless they're high.

Second of all, it's pretty damn presumptuous to assume to know anything about me or my life. I wonder how many times somebody has unloaded the "smile, it could be worse" to someone who had just been fired, or their spouse had just left them, or perhaps just got news they only had a short time left to live.

And for that matter, at what point is it appropriate to stop saying things could always be worse. I don't know, maybe you lost your job and consequently all your money, your car, your house and now you're homeless - - and for an extra cherry topping -- your entire family was just killed in a tragic accident. Is that when it doesn't get any worse? Is that when it's okay to say, hey you know, things really couldn't actually get much worse. Although I suppose, in theory, at least you haven't managed to accidentally set yourself on fire.

I understand that the idea is to remind ourselves that no matter our situation, someone out there probably has it worse. This is supposed to be some kind of solace, a reminder to count the blessings we do have. I get that. I often remind myself of this when times get tough. But sometimes, it's still bad. Whatever hell you are going through, will most likely pass, and eventually life will be brighter. But no need to hide behind a veil of fake smiles when things are shitty. Scowl if you want to. And when someone tells you things could always be worse, just punch them in the face, and say, "yeah, at least nobody has hit me today." Then smile and walk away.

Just a small thought

I worked on my flower bed today - planted 24 tiger lilies (my favorite). I've never considered myself much of a gardener, having been known to kill the kind of plants that are supposed to be hard to kill, including bamboo and cactus. Yes, I once killed a cactus. That takes skill. But I will say, I really enjoyed planting my flowers today and found it to be rather therapeutic. I had no time limit. I wasn't in a hurry. I took my time with each individual little hole that I dug, with a little music playing in the background to keep me company. It wasn't a task. It wasn't a chore. It was one of the more enjoyable things I've done lately. And seeing the plants all in a row when I was done brought me a sense of accomplishment and satisfaction.

Add to it the benefit of Spring saying to me, "I have arrived". And that is a most welcome thought. I utterly hate winter. I sincerely despise it. I don't know that it's so much "seasonal depression" that I suffer from, as much as it is "winter sucks and there's really no good reason to leave my warm house when it's freezing and miserable outside". Either way, I for one, am glad to say goodbye for another season.

Now is the time to celebrate warm nights, lightning bugs and porch beers, soon to be followed by weekends boating on the lake, beach trips and long days of sunshine. And those days are my favorite days. So here's to Spring and Summer; new beginnings and sunny days ahead.

I think I will play in my flower bed more often.

Peace, Love & Happiness Tour: Part 1

On my morning drive to work, I caught a recap of a speech, the actress, Ellen Page, gave at a recent event for LGBT teens in Vegas. I didn't hear the entire speech, but what caught my attention, was the following quote from her speech:

"And I’m inspired to be in this room because every single one of you is here for the same reason: you’re here because you’ve adopted, as a core motivation, the simple fact that this world would be a whole lot better if we just made an effort to be less horrible to one another."

Let me repeat that last part in case you missed it - this world would be a whole lot better if we just made an effort to be less horrible to one another. 

Such simplicity that it would seem to be common sense. And yet, it's not. Day after day, decade after decade, we find someone to hate. 

I lived in Birmingham, AL for many years, home to one of the most atrocious acts of the civil rights movement - the bombing of the 16th Street Baptist Church that killed four young girls. Kelly Ingram Park in downtown Birmingham features statues depicting scenes when blacks were held back with firehoses and dogs. It's a stark reminder how our past is tainted with hatred and bigotry.

What is sad to me, is that throughout history, and continually today, people everywhere are having to fight for equality. I applaud the men and women who stand up to oppression and protest for justice. I only wish there was no need for it. Why can't we all just get along? Is that hard to just love thy neighbor? Is it so difficult a concept to grasp, that the majority of people, regardless of race, religion, sex, ethnicity, sexual orientation, or social class just want to live a good, decent life filled with love and happiness? They want to earn an income and be appreciated for their hard work. They want to provide for their families. They want to fall in love. They want the same chance at success as anyone else. Nobody got to pick their lot in life. All they can do is play the hand that was dealt to them.

Stop being horrible to each other.

We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness.--

Back At It

It's been a minute since my last post. I apologize. It's been a rough couple of months, in more than one way. For those that are close to me, you know what's been up. For everyone else, let's just say it's been a helluva ride. And some days, it got the best of me. It's hard to write objectively when your mind is so wrapped up in another aspects of your life. So I'm feeling a little rusty tonight, but I know if I don't just make myself get back to it, I never will.

But the truth is, the last few months haven't been as hard as they could have been. The biggest contributor to that has been my family and friends. I know I've probably said it a million times before, but I really do have the best support system around - great people that love me and believe in me. And when times get tough, they are the ones that pull me up and give me strength. I honestly have no idea how I could make it without them.

The last few months have been trying. My faith has been absolutely tested. I won't lie. Some days were hard, really hard. And then some days were okay. But that's the way it goes. See, there is no such thing as a happy ending, because the truth is, until you die, it doesn't end. It just keeps going, up and down, back and forth, and all you can do is try to fully enjoy every single blessed, joyous moment and know that there will be dark days, but they too shall pass. That is the roller coaster ride we are on. Hang on, close your eyes, feel the excitement and rush of it all, with faith that you'll make it out okay. Wake up every single day knowing you have been given another shot at life.

Several months ago, I found myself in a new place, and felt it was "meant to be" or "divine intervention" if you will. And then, Bam!, the rug was pulled out from under me and suddenly I questioned it all. But then I remembered something. If I thought it was God's will that led me here, then, in fact, it is also meant to be for me to suffer through this. Maybe the lesson was humility. Maybe it was patience. Or maybe it was faith. Or maybe there is no such thing as God and we are all just free floating around in random chance, but whatever the reason, I have found a newfound appreciation for the simple pleasures in life and have counted my blessings more in the last couple of months than in many years before. I have realized my troubles are few in comparison to the vast majority, and I have a newly restored sense of being, and knowing that I can and will survive, regardless of the curve balls thrown my way.

"Adversity is like a strong wind. It tears away from us all but the things that cannot be torn, so that we see ourselves as we really are."
~Arthur Golden

Love, Sweet Love

My Valentine's Day Tribute to Love:

First, some videos.

Jackie DeShannon "What the World Needs Now, Is Love, Sweet Love"

Tom T. Hall "I Love"

And the master of Love, Mr. Barry White "Can't Get Enough of Your Love"

And a random assortment of Valentine related images I found.

You know who you are.

If you need a pick-up line, try this one.

For anyone sad because you don't have a date.

True Love.

Happy Valentine's Day to ALL my Bitches out there! Love you, crazy people!!!!

The Great Car Run

Have you ever tried to push a 4,000-ish lb. Ford LTD up a hill? I have. I was probably fourteen at the time and weighed all of 90 lbs. soaking wet. But I had help. My even slightly smaller friend, *Marie, was with me at the time.

Mom was out of town and Dad was at work. Marie and I were at my parent's house, bored. There sat the LTD. It was a late 70's/early 80's model. My parent's had driven it in years past, but hadn't driven in at least a few years. It just sat there, parked, waiting for an adventure. So we decided to take her out for a test drive.

After some groaning, the engine finally roared to life. For those of you who remember, these cars were not the tiny, compact plastic cars we drive today. No, this was a tank with wheels. Anyway, off we go. We started by heading up the driveway and then down to my aunt and uncle's house down the road. So far, so good.

Headed back, we start making the climb up the long hill back toward my parent's house. Engine stalls. Car goes dead. I throw it in park, and try to turn the key a few more times. No luck. Well, okay, then. When the car dies, what do you do? You push it.

We devise a plan. Marie will stand at the driver's side door, with her hand on the wheel to steer it. I will get in the back and push. It made sense at the time. I had seen it done a couple of times. I get in ready to push position, with hands on the back bumper and legs braced. I yell to Marie, "put it in neutral". Um, Houston, we have a problem. I barely managed to clear being crushed to death by jumping into a nearby ditch as the behemoth started rolling backward rather impressively fast. Marie was only dragged down the hill for a short while, before giving up and letting go, also somehow managing not to be run over.

There she goes. Rolling in the wrong direction, back down the hill, ending up in a ditch at approximately a 70 degree angle. Thanks to a few friends, (and their Dads), we managed to get the car pulled out of the ditch, with the only real damage being that we ripped the front bumper halfway off in the process. One of the guys hammered the bumper back to it's original-looking shape. Car was parked in the exact place it had been. No one was ever the wiser.

Several months later, my uncle bought the car, for parts I assume. He shows up, they attach a chain or some device to the bumper to hoist it up to be hauled off. Imagine their surprise when the bumper immediately flies off the car.

"Jennifer, any idea why the bumper just fell off the car?"

"No, Mother, I have no clue." "Geez."