Don't Worry

To the inhuman human that left your dog to fend for itself, don't worry, I took him in. I didn't want to, as I have responsibilities too, and really didn't want the extra burden. But I did anyway. I know it won't matter to you that he/she now has food to eat and a warm bed to lay on, but he does. Because, let's be honest, if it mattered to you in the first place, you wouldn't have abandoned him on the side of the road, or left him behind when you moved. I'm sure you are sleeping soundly without any thoughts of the animal you left to die. But don't worry, I cared. I cared enough that I bathed him and gave him medicine to provide relief for his poor body from the fleas, ticks, and worms that plagued him.

Was he that much a bother for you? Did he get into the trash? Did he pee on the floor? Did he chew your favorite shoes? Would it have taken so much of your precious time to train him? Could you not possibly spare a few minutes every day to teach him manners? He wanted to please you, he wanted to learn, but you didn't have the time. But don't worry, I'm trying to find the time to fix your problem.

He loved you. He worshipped you. He would have fought for you. He would have given his life to protect you. And how did you return such unconditional love? You discarded him. You left him to die. Alone and scared, he would have eventually starved to death, given over to sickness and disease, or been hauled off to the pound to face his fate, wondering where his master is. But don't worry, he has a new home now.

Now he has a new master. Now he loves me. Now he fights to defend me. And if fate ever has our paths cross, don't worry, I'm sure he will forgive you. But I won't.

Things could always be worse. Or not.

One of my biggest pet peeves is to be standing in line somewhere, perhaps a gas station, looking at nothing in particular, mind wandering aimlessly, only to hear this, "Smile. Things could always be worse." I look up and sure enough some man is staring at me, expecting some kind of response. I said a man, because in every instance I can recall, a woman has never, ever, said this to me. It's always been a man. Chalk that up to another checked box in the 'women have more sense category'.

Now, I don't like to think of myself as someone who walks around with a scowl, and if you greet me with a "Hello" or "How are you?" in the checkout line, I will most likely smile and respond with a similar greeting. This particular interaction, however, is not going to illicit a pleasant response from me or a cheerful grin. Most days I bite my tongue, while contorting my face into the most disgusted look I can conjure at the moment, and try to shoot death rays from my eyes. But catch me at an inopportune time, and I may tell you where you can stick that smile you're looking for.

First of all, like I said, this is almost always said at some random moment whilst I'm staring off into space and standing in line somewhere. Who just stands around smiling for no reason? Unless, I'm having a funny internal thought, I don't just walk around smiling to myself. I'm even gonna go out on a limb and say most people in the world don't do this either, unless they're high.

Second of all, it's pretty damn presumptuous to assume to know anything about me or my life. I wonder how many times somebody has unloaded the "smile, it could be worse" to someone who had just been fired, or their spouse had just left them, or perhaps just got news they only had a short time left to live.

And for that matter, at what point is it appropriate to stop saying things could always be worse. I don't know, maybe you lost your job and consequently all your money, your car, your house and now you're homeless - - and for an extra cherry topping -- your entire family was just killed in a tragic accident. Is that when it doesn't get any worse? Is that when it's okay to say, hey you know, things really couldn't actually get much worse. Although I suppose, in theory, at least you haven't managed to accidentally set yourself on fire.

I understand that the idea is to remind ourselves that no matter our situation, someone out there probably has it worse. This is supposed to be some kind of solace, a reminder to count the blessings we do have. I get that. I often remind myself of this when times get tough. But sometimes, it's still bad. Whatever hell you are going through, will most likely pass, and eventually life will be brighter. But no need to hide behind a veil of fake smiles when things are shitty. Scowl if you want to. And when someone tells you things could always be worse, just punch them in the face, and say, "yeah, at least nobody has hit me today." Then smile and walk away.