The Gift

What you say can and will be used against you. Make no mistake about that. A couple of perfect examples that come to mind involve this very blog. A couple posts ago I mentioned that I was having some concerns about someone being an irresponsible parent. Someone I know assumed the post was about them. Maybe it was. Maybe it wasn’t. It doesn’t matter. Example two is last edition, I talked about some of my OCDness. A friend of mine has now used the word neurotic at least three or four times since then when talking about me; something they didn’t do previous to my post. But you know what, that’s okay too. As a writer, I know that there are consequences to anything I publish. Whether it’s hurt feelings, or pissing someone off, or exposing myself for the world to see; it can make you vulnerable. That’s the risk. It’s also the main reason I have yet to write the book I’ve always wanted to. But it’s coming. As a matter of fact, I have already started it. And my new year’s resolution is to finish it in 2016. And if anything I have said in my blog has perhaps offended your senses, or you think “wow, that girl has issues” then you really should read the book. I haven’t even scratched the surface yet. The truth shall set you free. It also may alienate certain folks who would rather you didn’t speak it so freely. But that is what a good writer does. Or at least the authors I’m interested in reading, and therefore is my goal to do the same. Consequences be damned.

Each moment we have is so brief. Every second of our lives spent, is another second of our past. Gone, forever. These collections of moments are what we call memories. And while you’ve heard a million times in a million ways, you still don’t understand. We forget that every single moment counts. Not because you may get hit by a bus on the way home and never get to tell your wife you're sorry for the argument you had before work, but because that minute you spent arguing is now a recorded moment of your past, a time past that you will never ever have again. And those precious minutes now influence your recollection of the past and the feelings associated with it, whether it’s guilt or pain or joy.

I was really looking forward to the TV movie “Coat of Many Colors”. I missed it the first time, and had plans to watch it Christmas night on the rebroadcast. However, a couple of friends I know wanted to get together and drink and be merry. I knew I couldn’t do both. As much as I wanted to watch my show, I couldn’t pass up the chance to spend time with my friends. The show was the story of Dolly Parton’s life or at least a portion of it, but this time now, this is my life. And I want to make my moments count. I would rather fill it with memories of laughter shared among those I love, than countless hours spent watching someone’s else life on screen.

So remember that the next time your best friend calls and you don’t pick up the phone because you’re in the middle of cooking dinner. Remember it when your husband comes home from work, stressed about a hectic day, and you are tempted to tune him out. Or when you’re driving home from the grocery store, on the same road you drive everyday, no longer mindful of the trees. Or when you just can’t bear to swallow your pride and say you are sorry. I think if I could leave you one thing, one thought, this would be it. But you probably won’t listen anyway. I mentioned in one of my earlier blog posts about reading an article regarding Melissa Etheridge and Sheryl Crow and their respective battles with cancer and how they referred to cancer as a “gift”. I know now what that gift is. The price for that knowledge and the wisdom gained is rather steep, and comes at an incredibly painful price, but I think in the end it’s worth it. It’s value is immeasurable.