The Secret To Happiness Is....

I've had a few people tell me that I have a positive outlook on life, or tell me how inspired they are by the way I am handling cancer, or that I am doing a great job of still smiling. People ask me how I do it. It's easier than you think. You will be surprised at how easily you can adapt to life's ever changing moments. We do it daily without even realizing it. It's the slow process of evolution. We do evolve. We evolve and adapt to our new realities, whether it's a new career, the end of a relationship, or a physical change in our appearance over the course of a lifetime. You are stronger than you think you are, and the will to live is deeply ingrained in our own biology.

But let me say, I am not always giggles and sunshine. Far from it. However, I restrain from constantly whining or bitching about life or my circumstances or the weather or any of the other hundreds of things there are to complain about. What's the point? It's not going to change anything. All that's going to accomplish is make the people who are around me miserable having to listen to it. (Just get on any social media site as an example.) Occasionally I do complain. And whine. And sometimes my friends probably get tired of hearing it. Too bad. They are my friends. That's part of the unspoken friendship contract. In return, I listen to them when they want to unload a full day's worth of crap. But for everyone else, I try to put a cap on it.

I figured out a long time ago, that happiness really is an inside job. It's not something you can buy at Wal-Mart or TJ Maxx or even The Bass Pro Shop. It's not hidden inside a lottery ticket. And it most certainly is not found in the arms of someone else. At the most, all you will find in any of these places are fleeting moments that at the time may look like happiness and may even feel like happiness, but it's not. And I know that some will argue, but Jennifer, I love my spouse/boyfriend/lover/significant other and being with them makes me happy. Nope. That's still not real happiness. If your "happiness" resides solely on a new gadget or a friendship or a social status or a reputation or a career or a car or money - then hear me now - it will not last. Because every single one of those things can be taken from you at any moment. Then what? At some point in life you have to find happiness inside yourself. Be happy with who you really are and embrace it. Love life. Love yourself. That's where happiness is.

I wouldn't wish cancer or any disease on anyone. I damn sure wouldn't have wished it upon myself. But it's here. And I can't change that fact. I can try to fight it (which I am) and hope to overcome it (which I will) but I can't erase what has already been. This is the hand I was dealt, and I will play it. And even if I have to bluff from time to time, I will not fold. If I am beaten, it will be with grace and dignity. But I'm going to make sure it's one helluva game before I bow out. In the meantime I'm going to keep on smiling that Cheshire Cat smile, just to make them wonder if there's still an ace in my sleeve.

But the real secret to happiness is