Damn Yankees

The South has a reputation for being slow-moving, sometimes slow-thinking but seemingly friendlier than our Northern counterparts. And we like to paint a picture of Northerners as being fast-talking and abrasive. Well, a friend of mine and I developed a hypothesis about this recently.

Standing outside in beyond ridiculous cold weather, which for me, anything below 60 degrees is insanity, but nonetheless, here we were in the cold of winter and we shared a thought. It's not that Northerners are rude. They're just cold. Of course Southerners are more congenial. We have time to be. If you catch us outside a Wal-Mart we will stand in the parking lot and inquire about your family, your new job and tell you all about our recent vacation to the Smoky Mountains. But trust me, when it's below freezing outside with arctic wind chills, who in their right mind wants to hang around outside and chit chat? They're in a hurry simply because they want to go home and thaw out in front of a heater. Who can blame them? And if they seem a bit grouchy, well, how would like to have to shovel snow out of your driveway every time you wanted to leave the house? Or spend twenty minutes scraping ice off your windshield three or four months of the year? Or better yet, know that if you don't bundle up like the little brother from "A Christmas Story" you could lose body parts to frostbite just by walking to the mailbox? I'd be pretty pissy about life too. Further proof that I need not live any farther North than the Mason-Dixon line.

So, next time you spot a Northerner in your neck of the woods, invite 'em over to sit a spell on the porch and enjoy the warm sunshine and a glass of sweet tea. The poor souls just don't get to do that often where they come from.

Bless their hearts.

PS - You know the difference between a Yankee and a Damn Yankee? A Damn Yankee never leaves.
Just kidding - you know I love y'all.