Selfies

For lack of anything better to write about, tonight's topic: The Selfie. Which, to my understanding now has an entry in the dictionary. Yay. Way to go mankind. We have now made narcissism a national past time. Don't get me wrong, I am sure I have had my share of shameless selfies, but I feel I can honestly say they are at least somewhat few and far between, at least compared to the realm of relentless look-at-me pics that flood the internet. Until tonight that is!!!!! That's right. This blog is my humble dedication to that great ego-boost, self-important, cry for attention, The Selfie. 

Here goes:

First up, The Duck Face:

Nothing says I'm sexy and I know it like puckering up to a handheld computer device. Alone. Because you have nothing better to make out with than your iPhone. 

The Bathroom Selfie:

On the upside, I got to take care of some important paperwork while taking a picture of myself. That's a  win for multi-tasking. 

The Mundane-Same-Shit-I-Do-Everyday Selfie:

Here is a photo of me holding a Sharpie marker. Why? Well, as we all know, Sharpie's are awesome and I thought I would share some of that awesomeness with the world. What? You're doing homework?!?! For the love of all that is good and holy PLEASE share that with everyone you know. Because, no, none of us have EVER participated in anything as exciting writing a paper for English Comp 101. Or have jobs with desks. Or drive cars. Or eat apples. 

And my personal favorite - The Cleavage Shot Selfie

This is a classic, almost always followed by some heading like "Loving Life and All Smiles" knowing full well it isn't your smile you are attracting attention to, but yet, will still pretend to get offended when some guy makes a comment about your décolletage. I actually applaud the men who make inappropriate comments. Good for you, I say. Call a spade, a spade. And if I don't get at least a few lewd comments on my barely-there cleavage, I'm going to be terribly offended. 

(yes, there was a wardrobe change - can't get a good cleavage shot in a sweatshirt for heaven's sake)

So here's to you Selfie. You self-absorbed son-of-a-bitch. You bring the world closer, one Instagram pic at a time. As you can see, I was totally excited to write this blog. Like, Totes MaGoats!!!