Okay, here goes:

First blog. 2nd day of 2014. I'm not one for making New Year's resolutions. I never stick to them anyway, and I just find the notion somewhat silly. However, today at lunch a friend posed the question: what are you going to do in the new year? Which, by the way, is completely different than a resolution in my humble opinion. It was an invitation. An entire, brand-spanking-new year lies before you. How would you like to spend it? Any dreams? Goals? Plans? Or just another year drifting through, catching what comes your way? Maybe I thought too much into the question. But it did make me stop and think. What DO I want to do in 2014? For all I know, it may be my last year alive. I certainly hope it's not, but it may be. One never knows. So that being said, there's obviously no way I could really ever accomplish everything I would like to in life in one year, but perhaps it's a good time to set some goals for the year and actually make a commitment to getting them done. And I won't say this list is all inclusive. I may come to think of other things on my "to-do" list, but it's a start. So here goes:

1. Write something. Okay, well, here ya go - one thing already checked off my list. And no, it's not cheating because I've always wanted to write. Something. Anything. Not for fame or fortune, but because I like to ponder and think and it seems ponderers and thinkers are often times also writers. I've always been intimidated when it comes to writing. And here's the thing; I took creative writing in college and was told by my professor I was at least somewhat decent at it. I don't remember his exact words, but I recall them being encouraging. I also remember him telling me to "write about what you know". Well, that's a long, could be interesting or could be boring story depending on who you ask. It could also result in loss of friends, family and unrest among local citizens. Nobody really wants me to write about what I know. Because, well, among other things, I happen to know a great deal of dirty secrets. And who the hell wants that? Well, okay, some people do. Actually, probably a lot of people do, (everybody loves some dirty laundry) but we're not quite there yet. Another tidbit most people do not know about me, I began my first book at the age of ten or eleven-ish. Maybe twelve. And somewhere tucked away in a box is an aqua colored vinyl notebook containing my early writings. It was a story of four best friends and their adventures...think Baby Sitter's Club or Sweet Vally Twins for all of you who remember those books. I also remember one of the character names was Stacy Stein. And the reason I remember that, is because I was telling my mother about my book and the main characters, she asks me if Stacy was Jewish. I was completely dumbstruck. What the hell kind of question is that? How should I know? She had blonde hair and was the "pretty" one. That was as far as I had gotten in character development. And no, the fact her last name was Stein was not an indication of her heritage, I just thought it sounded like a cool last name. Hence, my first lesson in writing. Names matter. But again, I was ten, eleven-twelvish. Point is, writing has been in my blood for a long time.                                


2. Travel to a foreign country. Okay, this one is a little more adventurous and will require at least a small amount of planning and budgeting. I've done quite a bit of traveling within the continental U.S. but my foreign country experience is lacking. Technically, I've been to two other countries, France and Mexico. France was awesome (screw the haters, I loved it). I took four quarters (before UAB switched to semesters) of French and one of the best trips I've ever been on was with several women from my French class to Paris between Spring and Summer quarters. We spent around 10 days there and I loved every second of it. Though I will say, hands down, the absolute worst onion soup I have ever had was in France. Maybe they were having an off night, but you would think a country given credit for a particular soup could knock it out of the park every time. Apparently not. As for their other cuisine, if you enjoy a fried egg on every sandwich you eat, you're in luck. Now, I said "technically" two countries, but I'm just not sure the Mexico trip really counts. Crossing the border was a spur-of-the-moment side trip while sight-seeing in Arizona led by my mother, with her fourteen year old daughter (that would be me) and her pre-Alzheimer's but already crazy Mother in tow. After dark. In a rental car. In Mexico. No point to elaborate. That trip lasted all of about 30 minutes. Basically, long enough for my mother to realize this was not the best idea, as our car was being surrounded by Mexicans banging on the windows trying to sell us fruit and crafts. The entire could be summed up by "pulling a Ueee" at the Mexican border. So for 2014, I am determined to get out of the country. Passport ready.

3. Saving money. Boring, I know, but necessary. If my recent bout of temporary unemployment taught me anything, it's this: you have no fucking idea how close you are to being completely broke. And by broke I mean, not enough money to pay bills. Eat out? No, my friend, you better learn to love Ramen noodles and bologna. Just don't mix the two. Unless you like the shits. Sorry, I knew there was no way I was going to make an entire blog without crossing the line. But, in my defense, you were warned with the opening paragraph. Besides, everyone's had them at some point. The shits, that is. Anyway, back to saving money. And by the way, the inability to pay one's bills can lead to another condition known as Being Homeless.
So the other day, I was talking to my dad about getting behind on bills while unemployed. He says to me I was "living beyond my means". I said, no, I had no income. And with no income, EVERYTHING is beyond your means. And here's the thing about bills; just because you missed last month's payment doesn't mean they won't send you another one next month. Now you're two months behind. See how that works? Now, smart, educated folks will tell you that you should have around three months living expenses tucked away for emergency. Well, that's fine and dandy if you have extra income at the end of the month to tuck away. For the rest of us, it's slightly more complicated. After my divorce, I bought my first house, a fixer-upper I'm still fixing and any savings I ever had went the way of refinished floors, replacement furniture, and repaired appliances to name a few. Now, don't get me wrong, I love my little house. And I hope that one day, the investment will pay off. But, it wasn't until very recently that I had gotten to the point of being able to actually set aside a little savings. And thank heavens for that little bit, or the last month or two would have been incredibly worse than it was. So, lesson learned. It's easy to get a paycheck, pay the bills, live a little and whatever is left over at the end of the month, well, stick that in savings. No. From now on. Bills get paid. Savings is pulled out immediately. And then, live a little with whatever is left over.

4. Letting It Go (some call it forgiveness, but I prefer not to).  How does one go about forgiving the people in your life who have hurt you the most? Forgive and forget is catchy, but not realistic. Even if you forgive them, how do you forget? I don't think you do. Nor should you have to. Some argue that if you don't forget, then you haven't forgiven. But some things can not be unremembered. I think the key to forgiveness is to find peace. That's why I choose to call letting it go. And no, this doesn't mean you should continue to allow the same people to hurt you over and over. Enough is enough. If someone is not contributing in a positive way in your life, then your life is better off without them. Period. But you will never find peace and true happiness by harboring anger and resentment. So this one's going to be a bit tougher. Because I think in order to find peace and absolution, you have to first acknowledge the hurt, and then find a way to be okay with it. And this also means forgiving yourself (myself). Yes, there are people in my life who have hurt me, but if I am able to forgive others their trespasses, I have to extend myself the same courtesy.

5. Try something new. Free For All!!!!! This is my favorite on the list thus far. Admittedly, it's a pretty loose goal. But the last one was getting a bit heavy, and I'm running out of ideas at the moment. Not that there aren't other things I would like to do in 2014, but I'm leery of committing to too much at once. Baby steps, people. And this one will be easy, because I love trying new things. New foods, new activities, new ways of thinking, new dances, new technology...
And there are so many things I've never actually done. I have never been snow skiing. I have never snorkeled. I've never seen the running of the bulls or pole danced at amateur night. Point is there are boundless opportunities to experience something new and different. And that's what life is really all about. Just the very thought of doing something I've never done before excites me and makes me smile. Learn a second language. Take guitar lessons. Hike the Appalachian Trail. And my advice to everyone, whatever your new year has in store, make room for getting our of your comfort zone and giving something new a chance!